What do you see?

It's a bird! It's a plane! It is what ever you want it to be.
I read some where a wile back that, "Orange is the color of creativity".

Art can evoke a whole lot of emotions: laughter, sadness, anger, joy, love... It is interesting how two people can look at a piece of art and have two totally different views about it; what they like, don't like, and how it makes them feel! What do you see when you look at the picture above? (No it is not a psychology test)

I have always liked playing with colors, mixing them together to see what will happen. When my parents gave me my first watercolor set at about the age of 3 or 4, that was what I did. It fascinated me and I would sit for hours mixing the colors together to see what would happen. I still like to do that sometimes, it can be a lot of fun. It’s amazing you can make any color you want from the three primary colors, blue, red and yellow. Some mixed together are beautiful and others are not, but when they are put in the right place on the canvas they can make a masterpiece! No one ever told me to start painting or drawing, it just was something I wanted to do. It happened at about three or four years old and for me it has always felt natural to paint, draw or do anything that has to do with art! I remember I loved it when we started to paint in Kindergarten. When it came time to stop, I didn't want to. The teachers practically had to drag me away from it! Mark! It is time for a story and a nap! But I didn't want to do that. This was much more fun! When my parents came for a parent/teacher’s conference the teachers mentioned it to them. The conversation ended with, “Maybe he will be an artist someday.” When you are doing what you love time doesn't seem to matter. I believe that all of us have a God given talent. Something we were born to do. It is not the same for everyone. As you all know mine is art! If you don't know what yours is, find out and don't ever waste it!

The artist at work. I believe I was either three or four years old here. Sitting on the dining room floor mixing colors together to see what would happen. Still love to do that today. Well, not sitting on the dining room floor.

My Mom took these pictures of me. She was so proud of her little artist. That was my first watercolor set.

OK, back to the psychology test, just kidding! One day at work I was playing around, not while I was working, I would never do that. (I hope my boss is not reading this!) Anyway, I got this idea to mix some ink together on pieces of paper; I wanted to see what would happen. My first attempt was using blue, yellow and red ink, the primary colors. Then I went on to using whatever I had at hand from my discard ink can. I used to work in the press room and still do sometimes. When we get done printing a job, whatever ink is left over that is not worth saving, goes into a can for recycling. I took one of our ink knives, (Glorified name for a putty knife!) and I applied the inks on one end. We have a couple of different widths and I used one that was 1-1/2” wide. Then I took that and set it down at about a 60 degree angle and proceed to twist the knife with the ink on it as I dragged it across a sheet of paper. It starts out with the original colors and then as you continue to twist and drag, the colors start to mix. I got some pretty cool effects at times depending on how far I twisted or dragged the colors and how thick I laid it down. Well, I think you can see the end results!

This is my ink waste can. I would not use any of this stuff. At the time I did the first art I had a better selection in Da can! for my resent creations I used some of our process inks.

I know you can't see the color of the ink's vary well here but the two at the top are cyan and magenta, (blue and red). I try not to use to much of them because they turn black quick once they mix. 

The knife set and ready to go. 

Twist and drag. I like to use a light pressure on the knife so the ink goes down thick when I twist and drag it. Because I think the colors mix together and look better when I am done. 

The finished piece. The blue was probably to dark of a color to use but you get the idea.

Two more that I did with the one above. These where done about a month ago and the ink
dried a lot faster. We switched to a different manufacture with or inks. Maybe that is why I didn't have any drying problems this time.

The three above I did a couple of years ago when I first got the idea to do this. 

Printing ink was probably not the best to use for this because when I thought they were dry and stacked them on top of each other to bring them home they stuck together. Next time I will use acrylics. I know they can be laid down thick and will dry! There are some interesting mediums that can be used with acrylics and the results that can be obtained from them can be interesting as well. Check out Liquitex website. They have videos of how to use their mediums and the effects you can achieve with them.

The other “art” below (and that is what I am going to call it), is from when I was cleaning the ink out of the ink fountain on the press. I would use a 2” square piece of scrap stock paper to remove the remaining ink from the ink fountain rollers. When I scraped the paper on the rim of the can to discard the ink I happened to look at it one day before I threw it in the trash can and saw the results. I thought, “Hey that is pretty cool”. From then on I wanted to see what I could achieve. Most of the time it ended up in the trash can. Not everything is a masterpiece! You may not think that this is art or that I am weird for trying it and you may be right. As an artist, I get my inspiration from some strange ideas at times. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't! Maybe I should make some prints of these and sell them. You never know what might happen!

I love the shapes in this one.

The piece above is actually two put together. When I took the art out to scan it for this post I got the idea to do this. Sitting here putting this post together I was thinking to myself, "This is a psychology test". For me! I just love colors and shapes! 

When I started writing this post I thought about some artist back in the 80's. One did a painting that was just gray paint on a canvas. It sold for a god awful price. I also remember a sculpture that was just urinals attached to a wall. Say what?! They were the kind you would see in a men's public bathroom, nothing special about them. Any of you ladies want to come over and see my bidet art? It has pretty flowers on it! I'm being sarcastic again! Although I have gotten some good ideas while sitting on the toilet! They were both prominent artists and I don't remember what their inspiration was for doing the art. I was trying to find the two pieces on the internet but couldn't. I did find some interesting sculptures that I thought were cool art. Go to the link below and watch the video. http://www.dailyvsvidz.com/2010/03/ca-urinal-artist-vs-creative-sculptures.htm.

There are times when I find it hard to understand what some people think is art and what they will pay for! Please know that I am not trying to complain that I am not appreciated as an artist for what I do or that no one likes my art. Well, maybe I am! I have to tell myself, “Mark, they are a least doing something with their art and you need to do the same”! As an artist, trying to get out there and get recognized can be frustrating at times and I will admit that I can get angry or depressed and think “why am I doing this?” Especially when I see artists doing stuff that I don't think is art. I can't be judgmental about what other artists do though. I have to focus on what I am doing! I am not a patient man at times, maybe I should say most of the time, and I want things to happen sooner than they should! I know I have to work hard, keep painting, and show my art so I can get recognized.

The pastor at my church has had some great sermons over the last few years about not giving up on your dreams or endeavors! They have come at times when I needed to hear it. To be honest, those have been times when I have felt like quitting! The pastor made a comment one Sunday, “Do you ever feel like you are so close to making things happen but you are just not there yet? Hang in there! Don’t give up! Don't quit!” Some dreams can take a lifetime and I am the kind of person who is more likely to want to quit when it seems impossible than to keep at it. I will get an idea for something I want to do or see, something I desire but I am not willing to work hard enough or keep at it each day to obtain it. Or I will let my doubts and fears control me and I start feeling sorry for myself and sit on the pity potty! I tell myself, I can't do it or it is never going to happen so why keep trying. More than often that is why I fail. It is hard for me to talk about what is going on in my head and heart sometimes because I don't feel like people will understand! And not everyone will. Lately it has been a big help to me to seek advice from other artists and I would encourage everyone to do the same. Don't forget your family and friends also. Some days getting encouragement from someone has been just what I need to keep me moving forward with my art! There are times when I need a proverbial kick in the backside too. I have come to hate my response of, “I know”, especially when someone tells me what I know I should be doing. Hello Mark! Then why are you not doing it? There are no excuses but we all seem to have one, right! Human nature!

Over the years I have not always liked what some people have said about my art. Boy, at times it feels like they have stuck their hand in my chest and ripped my heart out. I think most artists will agree that we wear our emotions on our sleeves! As much as I don't want to admit it, I am an open book when it comes to my emotions. I think I am good at hiding them but I am not! A friend of mine, Patti Gabrielson, who is an artist also and that I work with, has been trying to get into the field of writing and illustrating children’s books. You can go to her web page by clicking on her name above. She has been going to seminars and having her work critiqued. We were talking one day about it and she made the comment that she wanted to go in with an attitude of, “Not that she was the best artist out there but what could she learn from it and apply to her art”. It reminded me of my experience with my recent painting and what I learned by wanting to have the same attitude about getting it into the art show I did last year. Always be willing to listen to what people have to offer. No matter how old you are you can always learn something new! You are all probably thinking that I am not the best person to be motivating anyone. The kettle calling its self black! But I hope that my honesty about my triumphs, failures, doubts, and fears will encourage and help others. Stay focused and don't give up on your dreams! Sometimes I think I should call this blog the tormented artist! But I refuse to think that! I am not going through anything that any other artist is or has not gone through in their lifetime. I have dreams and desires that I want to accomplish this year and my art is one of them. There are days when it seems like the dream is a million years away. I know I keep beating this drum and I will continue to do so. For me it is to keep painting this time, not giving up or quitting no matter how long it takes!

When I thought about doing this art it reminded me of when I was that little kid sitting on the dining room floor mixing colors together. Mixing colors and doing finger-painting as a kid gave me the idea to try this. I have to admit that I will use my fingers at times while I am painting. Hey, you can do some pretty good blending with them. Speaking of that, check this link out, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cri7aQHRT7k&feature=fvsr. This woman is an amazing artist and what she does with sand. Sometimes it is fun to just play around and experiment. You never know what you might create.

Childhood Art

Several years ago my Sister had gone through some old photos and stuff that our parents had and gave my brothers and me a package. When I opened mine, I found some art that I had done as a child. I had forgotten that my Mom had saved anything that I had done back then. I have stuff from high school and college but thought everything was lost from my childhood. Maybe she knew that someday it would be one more thing I needed for inspiration to move forward with my art. She knew I had the potential to be a great artist and that she would pull it out to show people, probably to embarrass me. No. She was very proud of her son and would let people know it. She would tell me, “you are vary talented Mark, don't waste it”. Interesting how I have come back to what I liked as a child. Well maybe it never went away; it just needed to be rekindled. Below is some art that I did  between 1966-1967.

 

On the back of this art my mom wrote, "
Got "A" on this picture. It was put in
 the District office for showing". 
March 28, 1967. Hay! my first art show. 

All we did was wad up colored tissue paper and glue it to a piece of cardboard. I remember one time when I was in high school I asked her why she was saving all this stuff. She said, "Because it is special to me"! One day though, when I was about 12, I was joking around with her and made her so mad. As I proceeded to run out the front door laughing, thinking I was being smart to escape her wrath, she threw a piece of plaster art at me that I had made in school (being the closest thing she could grab). The pieces flew past me and disintegrated as they hit the ground; luckily she missed me. I turned around in shock at what she had done and asked, "Why did you through my art at me?!" In her sassy, pissed off voice she said, "WELL, THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR PISSING ME OFF"! Never make a woman mad, especially when they are around your art! Another very important lesson learned about women from my Mother! 

A homemade kite I made in the Cub Scouts in 1966. I remember when I got the chance to fly it for the first time at a Cub Scout outing; it got away from me and ended up in some very tall trees about a mile away. Everyone was trying to see who could get theirs the highest to win a prize. I was literally at the end of my string when it broke. I ran after it down the hill as fast as I could but I couldn’t catch the string. I came so close to grabbing it a couple of times but gave up when it sailed out of reach for good. I came back up the hill so dejected. Everyone felt so bad for me that one of the older kids let me fly his kite. It turned out to be a good day after all even though I lost mine. 

My Mom. This picture was taken by my Dad in the early 50's. She was a big influence in my life. She always knew how to get me to do the things I knew I should, in a good way though. She passed away December 27^th, 1977 at the age of 49. Way too young! One of the things I miss the most about her is that she would come up to us for no reason at all, even when we were teenagers, and just give us a hug and say I love you. She could be very tender at times but when she got mad, boy you had better watch out. She had a short fuse! I was more afraid of her than my Dad when I got into trouble. She did not like to have to ask you to do something more than once. We would push the envelope once in awhile and pay the price for it. She was a very giving woman and always put us before herself. She encouraged and pushed all of us to stay in school and go to college because she didn't get the chance. She taught me a lot about relationships and what it means to stick with someone when things get tough. Not that my Dad was a terrible father or husband, he wasn’t. Trust me though, they did have their moments, but they always worked it out in the end. I miss her encouragement, especially at a time when I could really use it. But I know she would want me to step up and be the man that I need to be and she would expect me to be now. I remember the day my Mom passed away. The pastor of our church at the time came over and he said something to my Dad that has stuck with me, “She was a strong influence in the family and that will be missed". My Dad started to cry and said “yes!” I look forward to the day when I see her in heaven and she comes up to me and gives him a big hug and says, "I love you"!

Paintings in the works

This is the current whale painting I am working on right now. Even though I have only been able to paint on the weekends. I feel like this one is moving along at a faster pace for me then the mother and calf Humpback whale painting I did last year. All the hard work and frustration that I went through on last years painting is paying off though. I want to get this one done so I can start on another one!

I have also started another bird painting too. I actually began work on this one last summer before the whale painting above. I haven't done much on it lately because I have been focusing more on the whale painting and I was having a little trouble with the clouds, but need to get back at it. I have three more boards primed so I can paint something on them but I don't really have the room to do that many at one time right now. I need a bigger studio and more time to paint!

The passion within

The eyes are the windows to the soul. Maybe the face that launched a thousand ships? 
She is not Helen of Troy but I have always wondered what she looked like. 
Maybe a painting for the future!

This is a pencil drawing I did in the early 80’s; it’s a copy of a newspaper ad for jewelry. I don’t know why I like it, I just do. Maybe it’s the pose or the look on her face. Hell, maybe the best way I can describe it is if you have ever been in love with a woman, you know how you can feel when she looks at you. It can bring you joy, frustration, or cut you to the heart and soul whether you say or do something right or stupid. Ah women! I think I will never understand why some women will stick with us guys at times, not that I am a big jerk but I have my days…don't we all. As men we should be more thankful they do stick with us! And love them even more for doing it! What does this have to do with art, a lot! Never take for granted the people in your life that are there for you whether it is in your triumphs, failures, frustration, etc. Be thankful! I have had a lot of family, friends and women who have gotten me over some tough hurdles over the years especially the last three! And I owe them a lot. I told you I am passionate about my work. I think once I do release that passion to its full extent, I will become a better artist and a better person too. I always get the question, “Who was she?” or “is that an old flame?” Yeah, that was back in the 80’s when I was dating supermodels. No! I am just captivated by the look. I remember not being able to stop working on it once I started. It was fun to do and I learned some good techniques for future pencil drawings and that was another reason why I wanted to do it. 

The house that Anthony and Mark drew

In the summer of 2003 a cousin of mine, Susan, on my Dad's side of the family, came down to San Diego on business and wanted to get together. We talked about what we both had been doing and things we wanted to do. I mentioned to her that I felt I was at a point in my life where I needed and wanted to get back to painting again. Afterwards I actually had forgotten about the whole conversation and went on with my life as usual and didn't do anything with my art at all. On my second trip to Hawaii between Dec. 2003 and Jan. of 2004, while visiting with her parents, Sue called and wanted to know if I would be interested in helping her boyfriend at the time, Anthony, on some art projects that he was involved in. He was working for an architectural firm in Santa Barbara, CA. doing computer renderings but was looking to start his own business. She had remembered the conversation that she and I had back in the summertime. I am glad she did because looking back I needed something to get me moving forward again with my art. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to not doing the things I know I should! 

When I got back from Hawaii I went up to Lompoc, CA where they were living to see how I could help him. The powers to be at the time still liked the traditional look of water color art. So Anthony was trying to meld the two together. I was amazed at what he was drawing on the computer and it blew me away. I was a little intimidated when he asked me about doing some art on the computer but was willing to learn. Over the next several months we worked on one piece and I did some other art for him but things didn't pan out. It was a lot of fun and it had rekindled the love of art in me again. I remember my first trip up there, one night we went out to dinner to celebrate Sue’s birthday with Anthony’s parents and his Mom asked me what I did for a living. I told her and then my cousin said that I was there to see if I could help Anthony with what he was doing and then made the comment that I was a real artist. His Mom got somewhat mad. Sue was not trying to be degrading to Anthony talents, he is a great artist! It reminded me of my mom and how she would do the same thing when she thought someone was talking bad about my abilities. We smoothed things over with the clarification that Anthony is a computer artist and I am a traditional one. We do the same thing, just use different tools! I enjoyed working with him and would do it again if I got the chance.

Some of the type of art I did while working with Anthony. He would scan the art and paste it where he needed. It could be reused over and over again to save time. 

This is probably my favorite piece I did. The Bird Of Paradise, the bigger one.
I was so proud of it. I should finish it and frame it! 

These are the drawings Anthony emailed me for the house rendering we worked 
on together. I used them to create the pool area and the left side of the 
hose renderings below.

The sky for the background of the house rendering. I did this in about a half  hour while

I was up inLompoc one weekend working with Anthony. My first attempt didn't go 

so good so I started over. I was trying to do the clouds and sky with just the 

blue color but ended up painting a wash and then doing the clouds on top.

The hills here and the two pieces below I did at home.

The left side of the house.

The pool area.

The final rendering. Anthony did the house and the plants in the lower left and redid the color for the pool The rest is my artwork. The art I did was scanned and then Anthony put everything together on the computer. Not bad for a couple of white boys! The house is in Goleta just north of Santa Barbara, CA. It was up in the hills and this view, the back of the house, looked out towards the ocean. I would love to see it now. At the time it was under construction. The roof was done but the rest of the house was pretty much still stud framing. The family room was as big as my house.

A Tail of two whales(part2)

This is my first painting in almost 7 years; it’s been way too long. I started this whale painting back in March 2011. My original plan was to do another bird painting for a Quails Unlimited auction here in California, I had donated one back in 2004, but time didn't permit. I waited too long to get started and couldn’t meet the deadline in April. That bird painting is now in the works and I will revisit that in another post. I do have two other bird paintings that I started back in 2004 and I could have finished one of them but they were not working for me. I decided to do them differently at some later time and since another whale painting was also on my to do list, well here I am. This painting is something I have wanted to do for a long time now. I should say that it is something that I should have been doing! My Dad encouraged me to do two paintings for him back in 1979 (see part 1), but they were similar to the work of another artist, Richard Ellis, so it was time to do some from my own ideas.

This is the original painting by Richard Ellis. My Dad gave me a book of his art, (The Book of Whales), to encourage me to do some whale paintings of my own. I actually used a black and white 4 X 5 picture from either a magazine or the news paper of this painting to do the one I did back in 1979. If you click on his name it will it will take you to his web site. Here is another site to check out also. http://www.natureartists.com/richard_ellis.asp

Gray or Humpback? Which one should I do first? Another Humpback was what I decided to go with for now so I used the 1979 Humpback painting as my starting point but changed it so it would not look anything like the first one. I was able to find a lot of good reference material on the web, which I did not have for the first one. It is a little hard to get on a plane or boat sometimes and go where the animals are. Even if I could have done that, they don't just pose for you (if they even show up), so you have to get creative. Someday I would love to actually swim with whales in the ocean, just another dream of mine.

Some of my reference material and the sketch of the Baby whale for the new painting.

Ok, it is time to slap some paint on the board! As I got started, things moved quite well at first. It felt good to finally start painting again. It is hard to explain the feelings I had when I laid down those first few strokes. Back in October of 2010 I had primed three boards to do some paintings and once I did get started, I was excited. Maybe I got a little too cocky in the beginning but by the time I had finished, the experience had humbled me.

The background took two attempts to get it the way I wanted. My first thought was to do it as if the light was streaming down through the water but on my second try I went with a U shaped blending from light to dark, top to bottom and felt that was much better. Next I focused on the underwater waves at the top of the painting. If you look at that area of the painting, you will notice that there is a slight slope going from right to left. I wanted to force the angle to give more of a sensation of the whales diving. I worked on that part over and over again about five or more times (probably more) trying to get it to look right. At one point I had to go back over the background at the top because the angle on the left side was getting a little weird. It was sloping way too much on that side. I had to re-blend the top part which was not fun but I got it to work. I actually had to paint over the baby a little but that was no problem. You will notice as the painting progresses how much the top area changes from the beginning to the final piece. Every time I felt like I had it the way I wanted or how I thought it should look, I would go back and change it. I got so frustrated at times I thought I would never get it right. I still don't think that it is but I learned some things in the process and it will help me on the next painting.

My first attempt for the background

My second attempt on the background. More better!

This was my first attempt at the underwater waves. 

I took a break from that area of the painting at one point and decided to start on the whales. It was a good thing I did because they went a lot quicker and it did help me to figure out how I wanted the top to look when I went back to it. It would have been better to do the top last anyway but another lesson learned! There was some reworking on the whales at times in regards to color, shading and details but for the most part there were no real problems like the top of the painting. The two drawings show just how much I changed things from the first painting. The top drawing was for the 1979 painting and the  bottom is the latest one. You will notice how much more detail I added to this one. Compared to the first paintings, I wanted this one to be more realistic, like you were right there in the water swimming with the whales. Once I decided on the pose of the whales and added the details I transferred the drawings to the painting. The reflection on the baby is one area that I could have done better if I had more time. The mother was further down in the water so I didn't feel like she should have the reflection and I wanted her tail to be fading off in the distance to give some depth to the painting. I remember telling myself, “if I had another day, week, hell I could have spent another month and probably still would have taken it to the last day”. I know the more I paint the less I will re-work areas, then again maybe not! I am just too much of a damn perfectionist!

Drawing for the 1979 painting

Drawings for my recent painting. I changed the look of the tail 
on the baby before I transferred the drawing to the painting. 
Didn't like the way it looked.

Added the baby to the painting and started work on it

The mother being add next

Painting the outline of the mother. You need
a steady hand for this.

Once I had the outline done it was time to get started adding some color.

Still in the beginning stages but both whales are stating to take shape. 

Moving along. At this point I was working on defining the shape and color of the whales 
and how the light would affect them. 

Here the whales really started to take form. Getting some depth to the painting to. 

Thar be Whales! Adding more detail and color to both whales. Still need to
work on the top part of the painting! If you click on the picture 
you will see the white line just below the mothers left flipper.

You will notice that there are some fish in the picture too. The ones under the mother are there on purpose, but the one down farther is not. I saw a piece of hair on the board and thought I could remove it without any problems…NOT! I should have just left it alone but it was bugging me. It’s just one of those things that no one else would have seen. Anyway, when I lifted it off there was a white line that was very noticeable. I think I swore at the time but I knew from the last to whale paintings I did that I could fix it. That is why the fish is there.

Itty biddy fisheys. The one at the bottom covered the
white line.

When I had started the painting I had no intention of entering it in any exhibitions. I just wanted to paint again! I had been checking the internet and going to art shows here in San Diego where I live to see which one(s) might be the best to get into at some point down the road, hopefully next year. I have a lot to do though to meet that goal! I think someone at work mentioned the San Diego County Fair to me. All of the big art shows cost $600 to $700 to acquire a 10x10 booth and you have to submit your art to be accepted first. This is normal for most of the art shows but that was way more than I could afford and I didn't have enough paintings to meet their criteria, so it was out of the question for now. But the fair was very reasonable at $16.00 to submit one piece. You could enter two per category and as many categories as you wanted. I made the deadline by the 29th of May, which was actually the last day you could enter. Not that I was trying to procrastinate. I thought I would have to show a picture of the painting when I signed up but I didn't and I found out that I still had until the middle of June to finish the painting, which was good because I was not done.

The mother and baby were pretty much done here.
Still working on the top of the painting!!!!

At this point I decided to redo the background to fix the underwater waves at the top. 
You ever just have that feeling like something is not right and you try to fix it but it is not working out!
I could have left it this way but I am more satisfied with the look of the final piece!

It was time to burn the midnight oil and I did. I was still working on the painting the morning before I had to take it in for the judging and I still didn't think it was done. The day I had to take the painting in to the Fair, I went in to work first to frame it. When I showed it to one of the ladies, Patti Gabrielson. She mentioned how the baby and the reflections on it looked great; she really liked that part of the painting. I said, “Really? That was the one area of the painting I was still working on that morning and didn't think it was done or looked right”. I am somewhat apprehensive to show people what I am doing until I finish it but I am learning that it is better to get help while you are painting so you can overcome the hurdles that you might have. I had to tell myself that morning, “stop Mark and go with what you have”. I remember being so frustrated thinking it would not get entered but I had to let it go and submit it the way it was, even if I didn't think it was done. I had been telling myself from the beginning, “it is not about whether you get accepted or win any awards it is about painting!” That was the best attitude I could have because it helped me in the end. When I took the painting up to the Fair that day and saw all of the artwork I remember saying to myself, “Man there are a lot of good pieces of art here”. I felt like this was going to be tough to get in. It was intimidating to me. Walking back to the car I just had to tell myself, “you can't worry about it. If you get in, then you get in. If you don't, you don't! It is about painting again”! I know I am repeating myself and I will continue to because it really helped me to get through it!

The finished piece, framed and ready to go to the fair for judging.

Did I get in? I was not really nervous waiting to see if the painting had been accepted which surprised me but I kept that attitude of, “I am painting again”! I had to keep telling myself that. Family and friends kept asking me, “did you get in?” and I had to say, “I won't know until the middle of June”. The day I got the email from the Fair it didn't say if my art had been accepted or not. It just said “Congratulations, attached is a file of the art that was accepted into the Fair this year”. Talk about the suspense. Can I have a drum roll please! I downloaded the file to see if my name was there and when I saw it, I think I shouted “Woohoo!” Then I said, “Who’s your Daddy”. It was just that all the hard work and frustration had paid off. Now I had to see if I had won anything.

Next was the awards ceremony. At first I was not really thinking of going. I wasn't sure I wanted to get into all of the showmanship, but I am glad I did go. I am not big on getting up in front of people and please don't ask me to speak. I would not have had to because there were a lot of awards to hand out; people just went up to the stage to get their award and then returned to their seat. I do know I am going to have to speak at some point down the road. Boy! What have I gotten myself into? I can be a shy person sometimes and I feel like more often than not I say the wrong things! Open mouth and insert foot! What is in my head and heart doesn't always come out the way I want and it can frustrate me. It was fun though and it was another learning experience! The day before the awards ceremony I had asked a dear friend of mine, Martha Lopezllera, to go with me. I was nervous about asking her, (Mister shy boy that I am), especially at the last minute. But she said yes and I am glad because it made the night special having someone there to experience the event with me. I didn't want to go by myself but I would have if no one else could go. I wasn't sure if anyone else could attend, the fair didn't specify that on the invitation. Now I know that everyone and his mother-in-law can come. So you’re all invited next time!

I was a little nervous and excited at the same time at the awards ceremony. I know, I'm weird, it is just who I am. I kept telling myself, “Whether you win something or not, you got in and that is an accomplishment in itself Mark”. Out of 1400 entries, they only accepted about half. So getting in was a reward for me. As they started to read off the names of the people who did receive awards, I remember feeling a little disappointed but I came in with the attitude that no matter what it is about painting again! I really feel that not winning anything was the best thing that could have happened to me at this point and time. It will push me to paint more! Maybe this was another humbling experience for me so I don't get too cocky! The rewards will come but for now it is the painting! After the awards ceremony everyone was allowed to walk through the exhibit hall to see all of the artwork. As Martha and I went through the section of artwork that won awards she said, “You should be here”. I commented, “Maybe next year”. I learned some things about what the judges might be looking for next time but I know in the end I have to paint what I like. I have spent almost my whole career doing art for other people. Now it is time to paint what I enjoy. If you like it, that is great and if not, it’s OK! Not everyone will. This painting was a real labor of love for me. I had days of frustration and excitement. There were days when I thought I was not going to get it right and I felt like I wanted to give up. There were times I felt like throwing it in the trash can and starting all over again, but I hung in there and I am glad I did! I learned some new things through the whole process and I was humbled by the experience in the end. I have started another whale painting and have more that I want to do but they are not going to get done by talking about it. It’s time to slap some more paint on the boards!

Me at the fair with my painting a week before it closed. Boy do I look like a starving artist or what?